There are friends in all of our lives, at least I hope for you that you have at least one of these friends, whose friendships transcend what any written meaning of the word could ever convey. These are the friends that only by being who they are enhance your life experience in ways that you probably never really get the chance to share with them, and they never imagine. They are the people that you know in your heart should make you feel somehow inferior because they just seem to get it in a way that you don't, who live their lives with a sense of purpose, a deep faith in something, a guiding principle of love and family, and a spirit of sharing all of that with everyone they meet. Instead of feeling like you don't cut it though, the blessing of being included among their friends is so enriching it only makes you feel better about yourself. These are the friends that help you to grow every day just by their example and their imperfections because you know how much they love their children and what wonderful parents they are even when they are counting the minutes before they are dropping one off at a college and not shedding a tear. In other words, the perfection comes in the imperfection combined with the compass that keeps them on track overall, an example that gets you through your difficult days. These are the ones who will honestly tell you, when you are discussing a relationship problem or something like it, that even though you may be right, you might still be the one to try to change, or even that maybe you ARE the one to change, even if you don't want to hear it, urging you to take a different view, because as much as they are committed to their lives and relationships, they are also committed to yours. When they stood up at your wedding and vowed to support you in your journey they meant it, and still do twenty years later, always taking the side of your marriage or relationships with your kids, and by doing so are really taking your side all of the time. Friends who, by their example, have had as much or more influence on your life in all ways than anyone else, helping you to be better parents, spouses, people. People that are so humble, they would never presume or believe that they have had this impact on your life.
I am so lucky to have more than one of these friendships, but 23 years ago, after I had Gillian, God had his hand on my future when he brought the Givens', especially Cyndi, into my life.
And the Givens? They know how to throw a wedding! Attending a Givens' wedding is learning everything that they hold dear. I have been to the ceremonies and celebrations of three Givens' girls nuptials and if you don't leave knowing what is important about family and love than you were sleeping through it all. Always the essence of the day is the beginning of a future, not "the day." Ceremonies that are personal and intimate, filled with music and scripture that are thoughtfully chosen and so personal that you almost feel you are being let into a very personal part of the young couple's life. These are followed by celebrations (because reception is just too formal and inadequate a word for it) that are simple, welcoming and warm. They are planned by the family, the cakes made by one of the sisters, dresses might be new or bought second hand, favors are a family affair and the emphasis is never on how much you can spend to pull it off. So far, the parties have all been at their home and in the yard and the thing that marks them more than anything is the joy! These are joy-filled days to mark the expansion of their family, the way I see it, more than the start of a new family. Certainly there is a new and separate entity to that family, but so joined to the whole that you would think the entire clan, all generations, were standing and taking the vows. I hope that my family's future holds the same promise and that I can live up to it. It would be wonderful if we were all so favored.
Yesterday I attended that third Givens' wedding and like the two previous occasions I left feeling that I was the one that had received the gift. Cynthea, John, Janine, Anthony, Claire, Robyn, Ricky, Bethany, Brian, Teddi, Cecily, Ingrid, Ben and Aurelie, the Campbells treasure you as a gift from God that we can probably never repay.
Fifty-two to go. Sappy enough for you? Toldja! And that cake was amazing! Going for a fall harvesty feel, the basket weave frosting covered a pumpkin spice cake that was delicious. I even had a bite, despite the fact that flour does me in. It was worth it. And this post was meant entirely to ensure that Robyn will be planning and baking for all my future events. I can knit in exchange! Tomorrow, the shrug!
