I've Been Known To Say That I Like Kids,My Own.

A restaurant in Pennsylvania has banned children under the age of six.  Hoorah! 

Now, I am really the first to defend a parent's right to take their kidlet out to eat.  It happens on vacations and on rough nights when dinner can't be made or for all kinds of occasions.  I did it myself, plenty of times.  Somehow though, some parents just don't.get.it.  There should be rules or something.  The only thing is, some parents refuse to know or read their children.  Over-tired and over-hungry children cannot self-regulate.  Heck, I know some adults who can't self-regulate in the same physical distress, at times I am one of them.  Those are good kids, too.  If you want to dine out with your kid you should plan it for when they aren't tired and aren't too hungry.  Don't depend on the establishment you are visiting to entertain your kid, bring quiet activities for them.  Choose your destination wisely.  I love kids, but if I am spending anything over $14.95 for my entree then I don't want your kid kicking the back of my seat or to be honest, to have dad pacing and bouncing to keep the baby quiet.  It is really up to the parent to be the adaptable, resilient member of the party.  Have a back up plan.  When it looks like your child is not going to make it, and I mean at the first sign of it, pack your food up and eat it at home.  Over stimulated, tired and hungry kids are not easy to negotiate with and it is a little stressful for them to be out of their home environment at any time.

Now, I am guilty of having taken my young children out to eat.  Many times.  It must have been rarely to "nicer" places, but we did go out.  My children left an impression of being well behaved and polite little girls most of the time.  That isn't because they actually were that all of the time, I just knew when it was a good time to go out and when it would be disastrous.  If things started to go wrong there was one warning, they had one chance to shape up or we would leave.  On the rare occasions I had to threaten, I followed through.  It was less about giving into their bratty nature and more about knowing that an over-tired or hungry child is not to be tolerated out, and they will not be able to bring themselves back from a point of no return, even a silly one, and other patrons shouldn't have to have their night out ruined by my loud kid. 

There are some places suited to kids, even sit down places, like chain restaurants that encourage families, but if it is late and your kid is tired, well.  Just order take-out.

Don't mistake me, I have so much compassion for that tired mom who, having just picked up her toddler from daycare and needs something for a quick supper is in the market with said toddler over-tired and cranky as well.  I never think badly of her, it is a hard life and sometimes stuff just has to get done.  It just comes down to knowing yourself and your child and knowing that just because you enjoy your child at all times, not everybody else does.  Heh, especially when you've hired a babysitter for a nice evening out with your husband without having to listen to kid noises.  Ugh!  I'd hate that!

I have to admit, now that my kids are grown I have less tolerance for kids around me and I think a lot of kids are not controlled will at.all.  I would definitely spend my money at a place that caters to adults.

2011.  Twenty. $8.44. I have another theory about all of this, but it would likely piss some people off so for now I'll keep it to myself.  There you go, treated to Terry's views of life and parenting.  I've got pleny of them!  I just usually don't speak out.  Norma must be rubbing off on me........ 

 

Comments

[Kris]

I'm sooo with you. The worst is when you go out for a late bite to eat and the cranky over tired kid who should be in bed asleep not just being fed dinner at 9 pm. I don't know what's wrong with people.

[MLu]

I agree Terry. If I'm out for a meal with my husband/friends I do not want to watch a mom or dad stressing out over their kids, it stresses me watching them. Coming from the ex-waitress point-of-view, my pet peeve was families whose kids made a complete mess of the floor below their seat and walked away w/o picking up the mess. Now I didn't expect the parents to clean it completely but they could have made an effort to pick some of it up or say sorry for the mess!

[Helen]

I completely agree with you! My husband took us out to dinner on Sunday night. While the place is casual and considered "family style" I don't think that meant that 2 little girls (between 4 and 8) should be running up and down between tables, popping up and yelling "BOO!" at the patrons, while oblivious Mom is on a date with her boyfriend. My husband was about ready to say something to her about reigning in her kids when she finally got up and left (and she left a huge mess behind her).
My kids know how to behave in a restaurant, and like you, there have been a couple of times we have gotten up and left (or rather my husband took the offending child out to the car while we finished eating and brought out his food for him to eat at home).
We are raising a society of children that think the world revolves around them. They need to learn that there is appropriate behavior in certain places, including how to speak, and what type of language to use too. :)

[Carole]

Oh yes, I agree completely! Hannah was usually very good in a restaurant but there was a time when she was about 18 months until around 2 1/2 where we just didn't take her out because she couldn't handle it well. It wasn't fun for her and it wasn't fun for us so we just decided not to do it. She was perfectly content at home so we tried very hard to accommodate that and either get a sitter or take turns doing stuff outside the house. It's a pretty short time in a child's (and parent's) life when you come right down to it.

[margene]

When we had a choice of smoking or no smoking sections we always said "away from small children". Try living in Utah with the youngest median age in the country.

[amanda {the habit of being}]

I have littles and I agree with you! If we're going out to eat, we go early (6pm) before they're ravenous. Fortunately we often have people walk by our table telling us how well behaved our children are and like you, I think it's a combination of mom's savvy (ie, don't take overtired kids out) and discipline. We don't do anything with hubby's best friend's family because the kids are hellions - wild, crazy, completely undisciplined and their mom and dad react by ignoring it. I choose not to have my kids around them because a.) I don't want them to get hurt (totally serious, they're WILD) and b.) I don't want my kids to think that kind of behavior is an option.

[susan]

This restaurant hasn't gone far enough. I'd like them to also boot people who talk (usually loudly) on their cell phones while dining. Hate.That.

[Susan]

I totally agree with you. There are quite a few restaurants that I have not been to because I never seem to be able to manage to get there without the kids. That's life. At the end of the day, I'd rather take my kids to child friendly restaurants at appropriate hours than make them, me, and other people miserable by forcing the kids into a situation that's not appropriate.

And my personal pet peeve, having reservations after 9:00 pm at a restaurant where dinner for two runs in the hundreds of dollars, and having people with kids under the age of ten come in *later* than we do. Why??????

[Cookie]

I totally agree with you.. and Susan!

I can't wait for the school year to restart. I'm tired of walking through soccer games in the middle of the grocery store just because I need milk. FFS!

[Laurie]

Doesn't seem to be many standards that people feel apply to them. I think the kids are the collateral damage of parents who think the world revolves around them.

[Kim]

Totally agree! Parents need to realize what their kids can and can not handle. When my kids were little, my son was the kid you didn't want near you in a restaurant...so we just didn't go until he was old enough to behave. They quickly learned....good behavior means going out to eat...bad behavior, we have to leave our good meal behind and go home.

Over the years as a single Mom, I could take my kids out and really enjoy their company and know that they would behave.

Today, Ken and I go out most every Friday night to a local eatery, not too far from Storyland. Thankfully they have an adults only section or we would not eat there. It absolutely amazes me how many parents today just don't even seem to "see" their children's bad behavior and as many have said....it's not the child as much as the parent not respecting the people around them nor the child....makes me crazy...LOL

[Kate]

As someone without kids, i'm always surprised by how kids behave in restaurants. Don't moms learn "the look" anymore? My mom had it, and it meant: if-you-don't-sit-down-and-stop-hitting-your-brother/sister-and-eat-your-dinner-we-will-leave-and-you-will-not-sit-down-for-a-week". But, my mom was known to leave a cart full of groceries in the store (bringing it to the front, of course) saying (loudly)" My children CANNOT behave in a supermarket, so I will have to LEAVE" Embarrassment: a good motivator ;)

[Kathode Ray Tube]

I have two sons (12 and 9) but there were many nights where we went out only to the local pizza joint or a fast food place. They simply couldn't sit or behave very well when they were younger and I didn't feel it was right to subject other diners to that. I wish other parents of young kids would get the message too. Now that I can get out to a restaurant now and then, I really don't want squalling little ones near me when I dine!

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